There’s a joke doing the rounds on social media, as people try to make sense of Zimbabwe’s elections.
It says President Robert Mugabe, his wife Grace and their three kids were debating on where they would spend their holidays. The three kids favoured Malaysia, while Mugabe wanted the comfort of the State House.
Naturally there was a stalemate and they decided to vote, and there were four votes in favour of Malaysia and bizarrely, 68 votes for State House, when only five people had voted.
Following their drubbing last week, the MDC-T, predictably alleges that Mugabe rigged the poll in the same manner that the poll in his house was inexplicable.
It will be difficult to prove those charges, but Prime Minister Morgan Tsvangirai is taking his case to the courts, half hoping and half praying that maybe the courts will overturn Mugabe’s overwhelming victory.
Tsvangirai says he has dossiers of electoral violations by Mugabe and his party, which he will present both to the courts and regional bodies.
Whether this will help, it’s a long shot, but it’s worth a try, good luck to him and his party.
His main concern is the electoral register, which he says was in shambles and had a record number of centenarians, incredible in a country where life expectancy is just above 50.
Now this will beg the question, why did he bother to contest, if the odds were unfairly staked against him.
In his defence, he has boycotted one or two government processes, an election and briefly pulled out of government, but it has got him nowhere.
However, fatally for him, I believe was a case of overconfidence, he thought he had won the election, “rigged or not” but Mugabe had an ace up his sleeve, literally.
Like many Zimbabweans, I am still in shock at the scale of Mugabe’s victory, it is just too wide.
I am not really bothered he won, my gripe is with the scale of his victory.
This means Mugabe and his party can now, God forbid, amend the constitution willy-nilly and that prospect sends cold shivers down my spine.
I don’t care that Zimbabweans voted for an 89-year old, but it’s the platform he campaigned on that I find hard to believe carried the day.
Mugabe campaigned on anti-gay platform, the return of the Zimbabwe dollar and indigenisation.
Maybe if you are a Zimbabwean and you lived in a cave for 10 years, I don’t see why anyone can even dream of a return of the Zimbabwe dollar, the thought of it is just scary on its own.
Then black empowerment, or indigenisation as we call it, we had a disastrous land reform programme and the spectre of another such programme is enough to make anyone run for the hills.
But on the other hand, Tsvangirai and his party did not exactly cover themselves in glory in their past four years in government.
A lot has been said of Tsvangirai’s love life and the point cannot be overemphasised. His supporters argue that his love life is a private matter, but once you are in an elected position, you have little recourse to privacy.
While this may not be the reason he lost, fence-sitters may have begun to question whether he could be able to lead a government, yet his love life was tabloid fodder.
Now the question for many is; whither Zimbabwe.